do not happen
by accident. Instead, you must dedicate some time and effort to
developing yourself. I want you to live a bold and beautiful life.
That life requires a foundation. Just like you would not build a tower
without securing a strong foundation, you cannot build a big life
without some self awareness.
You need a foundation for your life to stand on
Over the last three weeks, we have been looking at
values that create the foundation of a good life. These values have
been taught to us by Imam Ghazzali. We have looked at the importance
of wisdom, courage, and balance. Today, we talk about justice or being
fair. I believe if you take “being fair” into consideration when
making your life choices, if we ALL took being fair into consideration,
our community would be a better place.
Just what does it mean to “be fair”?
It is so much easier to see when someone is not
being fair to you than it is to see when you are not being fair to
someone else. A fair person treats those around him fairly, regardless
of his background. On a larger scale, when all people feel like they
are being treated fairly, a society experiences much less violence and
crime. But I am not asking you to tackle issues of society at the
moment. I am asking you to begin to create more fairness in your own
life.
Are you unfair to yourself?
As I do every week, I am going to invite you to get
to know yourself better. Why? Because you are so worth getting to
know! But I know that many days you have trouble seeing that. Many
days you focus only on the most negative parts of yourself. Most of us
are unfair to ourselves. You may expect a much higher level of
perfection from yourself than of you do from others.
How to be fair to yourself.
We humans have a huge ability to be unfair to
ourselves. You can become fair to yourself and have a greater chance
of success in life if you practice some of the following strategies.
Seek Friendship: We are social beings and need people around us to
help us believe our true value. Choose your friends and companions
carefully. Surround yourself with people who show you love and support
and avoid spending too much time with people who put you down or make
you feel inadequate.
Grant Forgiveness: When you refuse to forgive and forget, you are
wasting a lot of your precious time and energy. If someone hurts you
in some way, try to forgive them. Even if you have the opportunity to
seek revenge, you can seek a higher path. You can choose to stop
feeling resentful when you think someone has done you wrong.
And as you forgive others, you must also forgive yourself. If you make
a mistake, you MUST forgive yourself. You are not perfect and were
not designed to be. Forgive yourself your mistakes and move on.
Demonstrate Honesty : Speak and act in a way that is consistent with
your own beliefs. Sometimes we try to please others by becoming
someone else. Be yourself. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Being who you are is much better then pretending to be someone else.
Embody Generosity : While being generous can mean physically giving
something to someone else, it can also mean giving of yourself and your
time. Generosity means cheerfully giving of something that values you.
Choosing to be a generous person helps you to focus on all of the
blessings that you have to share and helps you refrain from backbiting
and being mean.
Practice Kindness: The act of being kind to others is one of the
greatest gifts you can give to yourself and to them. Your brain
chemistry actually benefits from giving others a warm smile or support.
Being kind to yourself also means taking care of your physical needs.
Make sure you are eating well, getting enough sleep, and balancing
work with play
